Sunday, July 12, 2009
♥ You can have him.
Once, she felt that she was rational.
That day, everything changed. She found out something she did not want to. He did not belong to her alone. When she confronted him, he said: “Whatever.” That word ended everything. It ended all her fantasy; it ended her fairytale. She was convinced that she irritated him with her willfulness and absurd reasoning. The many things she did were proven to be unacceptable. At least, that was what she thought.
On the other hand, she, the one who came in between them, was gloating. Her victory is what she deemed worth celebrating. She succeeded in pissing the girl off; she succeeded in proving how inferior the girl is compared to her. Politeness, rationality, kindness, helpfulness, all these, she proved to have excelled compared to the girl.
“Thank you for convincing me of how inferior I am, thank you for showing me how incompatible both of us were. You can have him.”
You can have him. It meant her disappointment. Disappointment in him not standing up for her after witnessing her being ridiculed, disappointment in him who had left so abruptly at the moment when she needed him the most. He walked away, that angered her the most. Is that what he is suppose to do, walk away? Leaving the girl he said he loved to experience it alone, leaving her to be insulted by his ex-girlfriend. Leaving her feeling that she needed some verification of her place in his heart. All she wanted was the place.
She felt that he should have understood the feeling. She felt that it was similar to what he had felt when he saw her with another guy. Though verified but the uneasiness will not cease. He should have known it the best.
Labels: essay
